I THOUGHT TOO MUCH AND DIDN’T FEEL ENOUGH…
I don’t mind melancholy. Sometimes I even nurture it. I listen to sad music or walk in the rain, or watch a film about unrequited love.
To feel is to live. Emotions of all kinds are an unavoidable fact of human existence. A healthy dose of melancholy along with other emotions is useful. It helps us remember our mistakes, it motivates us to fight for what we’ve got because we know that it won’t last forever. People have a tendency to idealize the past – especially if it reminds them of a lost love or friends, they see them in a positive light. That’s ok because it affects how they see their future.
If only we could turn back time, or at least stop it… I guess I’m asking for too much… You know, when I was lying in the hospital and fumbling around in the past I felt as if someone had robbed me of my most valuable possessions. My memories. I realized that life is only about memories. Everything you do is about them. You live in the present every day just to have future memories. I’m not scared that I won’t wake up tomorrow, but I’m scared that I’ll wake up and not remember anything.